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Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Emmett Cullen Is Not Allowed To... Day 3...

1. sing to Renesme Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne infront of Jacob....

2 .... infact... he can NEVER sing Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne...

3. ... In fact, he's not even allowed to think about singing Girlfriend to Renesme, in front of Jacob or otherwise.

4. Is not allowed to kidnapp Bella for revenge against Edward.

5. Has to remember to put clothes on, and keep them on, everyday.

6. Is not allowed to bring Edward to a strip club for his bachelor party...

7. OR bring strippers to dance on top of Edwards piano while he plays.

8. Take 'Which character from Twilight are you?' quizzes on then complain loudly that they described him all wrong.

9. Kidnap Nick Jonas then sell him on ebay.

10. Bejewel the butt on all of Edward’s pants, saying, “Property of Emmett Cullen”

11. Emmett Cullen is not allowed to follow Mike Newton around...

12. ...And insist that he's in love with him.

13. Go to confession at church and tell the priest he did it with a couple of the nuns.

14. Rap, at all, EVER

15. Pelt his family members and Bella with flaming marshmallows

16. Strap a firework onto a cat then light it and stick it in Mike's closet.

17. Hide in the closet, then when his family is in the room, jump out and say in an extremley gay voice, "Hey everybody, I just came out of the closet!"

18. Ask Carlisle if he's met Dracula

19. Tell Bella that Edward didn’t want her to be a vampire because he was afraid that she would be better looking than him

20. Emmett shall not scare the freshman in highschool by telling them stories about people that have gone crazy there

21. He shall also refrain from dressing up as a vampire (fangs and all) on Halloween and hiding in the corn maze

22. Emmett should not use this as a checklist

23. Tell Bella that she was adopted by Charlie and Renee and her real parents are aliens from Jupiter, thus why Edward isn't able to read her mind

24. Get a dog then attempt to turn it into a vampire dog demon

25. Lock Jasper in a room with 13 pregnant women

26. Have “The Talk” with Bella

27. Tell the counselors that his family is pressuring him to be with Rosalie and he is unsure of his sexual preferences

28. Ask girls in creepy voices if they want candy

29. Take all the dresses from Alice’s closet and replace them with jumpsuits of every color

30. Persuade Edward to get a Facebook or Myspace, then tell all the Team Edward fangirls about it...

31. ... or the Team Jacob fans about it...

32. ... then supply them with necassary pitchforks and torches.

33. Give everyone in the family a theme song. Ex: All That Jazz from Chicago for Jasper's

34. Attempt to enter in the Boxman Dance contest...

35. ... or any other dance contest for that matter

36. Emmett Cullen should not post videos of the family when they hunt on youtube.

37. He should also refrain from creating a blogtv account

38. Get red contact lenses, then tell the family that he ate Charlie (Bella's dad)

39. Terrorize random old ladies on the street

40. Send Esme fake love letters from Mr. Banner (Bella's science teacher)

41. Start a babysitting service

42. Speak in an English accent while carrying around a cup of tea and repeat, "Pip pip, da doodley do" just to harrass Carlisle

43. Become a professional ballet dancer

44. Emmett should not wear a pink t-shirt with Hello Kitty on it and a pair of hot red high heels

45. He should not wear a green tuxedo with a wand and a pair of wings, then go door to door saying he's Tinkerbell's brother-in-law

46. Replace Carlisle's doctor tools with garage tools

47. Sing "My Heart Will go on" by Celine Dion when Edward goes to watch Bella sleep

48. Wear a pink pearl colored dress and walk up to emo and goth kids during school, then shout in their face, "Polly Pocket Rules! Oh my good golly goshness, don't you just love her?!"

49. Tell Alice that he and Jasper are secretly dating

"Finally, we're finished with part three. I just really hope he follows these." Bella said as she got up from her chair and went to put the list next to the other two.

"That was sort of annoying when he kept bugging me about how Dracula was." Carlisle said, as he walked into the room. Everyone nodded in agreement. Just then there was a loud yell from the living room, and Emmett came bursting into the kitchen.

"I just had 38 bets on me on ebay!" He yelled. "This one old dude betted two thousand dollars!" Rosalie shook her head and turned back to the list, and added,

50. Emmett Cullen must not sell himself on Ebay for any reason, ...whatsoever!

Hope you enjoyed it!

That pic was too damn cute to not use.

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