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Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Emmett Cullen Is Not Allowed To... Day 4...

1. Emmett Cullen is not aloud to sing 'Hello, I Love You' by The Doors to Jasper or Edward on any occasion

2. Steal Charlie's gun, then threaten to shoot himself if Bella doesn't marry him

3. Break into Alice's closet, steal all her clothes, and tell her she really should have seen it coming.

4. Run up to Bella screaming, "Aliens are trying to invade my mind! Help!" and attempt to hide behind her. 

5. Tell Jacob that it's a little chilly in the house and ask him to warm him up. 

6. Eat nothing but goats for three weeks.

7. Attempt to get drunk…

8. … then pole dance in front of Alice and Bella.

9. Act like Renfield (from Dracula by Bram Stoker) for a week.

10. Act like Sailor Moon and start dressing like her...

11. ... then get a black cat, name it Luna, and paint a crescent on it's forhead just so he can be like her

12. Learn to play the flute and beat box at the same time

13. Make a vampire tree army…

14. … then have it attack Jasper when he’s reading

15. Refuse to speak, and only pass notes

16. Speak only Chinese for a month…

17. … then switch to only Swedish

18. Get a tattoo of an oak tree…

19. … on his inner thigh…

20. … then worship the almighty oak

21. Have wild and crazy sex on Edwards piano with Rosalie... 

22. ... or in/on the volvo...

23. ... or on Edward's bed...

24. ... and DEFINETLY not on Edward

25. Find home videos of Bella when she was younger, and put them on all the screens in the movie theater

26. Attempt to ride a unicyle

27. Get in a helicopter dressed up like a monkkey, then jump out and land jumping on a pogostick

28. Bite an elephant...

29. ...then join the circus with his vampire elephant pet

30. Start a band in China

31. Emmett should try to refrain from switching Edwards volvo with a blue Prius

32. Join the army and say to Jasper that he would make a better soldier than him.

33. Grow a marijuana farm in Esme's garden...

34. ... then when they are fully grown, replant them in Mike Newtons front yard

35. Steal one of Alice's dresses, tear it up, then run out of the house wearing it, accusing Jasper of rape 

36. Go skinny dipping in the school water fountains ...

37. ... then invite Rosalie to join him in 'getting his swerve on'

38. Take off his clothes in gym class and sing "Im Too Sexy For My Shirt"

39. Call Jasper a super hot , Badass texan

40. Wear his hair in pigtails, put on lipgloss and go to an elementary school and jump rope with the little kids

41. Sing Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen everytime Alice and Bella walks into the room

42. Dress up as Jessica Simpson for Halloween anymore

43. Throw ravenous chinchillas at people

44. Hide food (such as cookies and things) in Jaspers hair for safekeeping

45. Sell Alice to the zoo of freakishly small things 

46. Start an epic paintball war with his family members

47. Play keep away with Edward using his piano...

48. ... or his favorite book...

49. ... and definetly not Bella!

50. And Finally, Emmett Cullen is not allowed to get a vampire fang tattoo on his ass

"I think this should do it." Bella sighed.
"You've done a good job Bella," Edward replied. She smiled and leaned against his chest as Rosalie taped the newest list on the wall.
"You would've thought, that after 73 years my husband might be just a little more mature than this." There were quiet murmurs of agreement. Suddenly, there was a loud crash coming from the living room. The Cullens ran to the other room, to see Emmett sitting on the floor with test tubes in front of him. His eyebrows were blackened and there was a hole in the ceiling.
"I'll get the broom..." Rosalie said. Bella just shook her head and turned to add another one to the list -

51. Emmett Cullen is not allowed to buy a chemistry set then experiment trying to create a cure for cancer.

Hope you enjoyed it!!!


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