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Wednesday, July 21, 2010

How To Annoy Jasper Hale... Part 2...

1. Throw a suicidal teen at him.

2. Make him stand in a psychiatric hospital for three days.

3. Tell him that Alice is a lesbian and is using him to make Rosalie jealous.

4. Tell Alice that Jasper is gay, and is using her to make Emmett jealous.

5. Tell everyone that Jasper didn't get his scars from fighting, and wiggle your eyebrows suggestively while looking at Alice.

6. Make him adopt a newborn vampire.

7. Inform everyone that Jasper wants to feel them.

8. After saying the above, point out that this technically makes him bisexual.

9. While in his presence, switch moods freakishly fast.

10. Make him deal with twelve humans AT ONCE who have EXTREMELY different moods. [Overly happy, completely pissed, etc.]

11. Ask him "how you are feeling" every couple of minutes.

12. After the above, whenever he guesses, scream "WRONG WRONG WRONG! GUESS AGAIN, MR. EMO!"

13. Ask him why he is so quiet.

14. When he opens his mouth to answer, scream "LIES!"

15. Dance around him for a full ten minutes calling him a liar.

16. Ask him how he is feeling, shrink-style.

17. Schedule therapy for him, and make sure that they go into detail with his CHILDHOOD.

18. Tell him that his Mommy loves him, and make Esme really pissed at him.

19. ^-- Break her favorite table and say "JASPER DID IT!!"

20. Tell him that Edward wants his children.

21. Tell him you have a surprise for him, and then wave a very pretty human girl in front of his face, whispering "She'll probably taste delicious!"

22. When he backs away, say "Come ON! YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT!"

23. When he still says no, scream "BUT SHE TASTES LIKE CHICKEN!"

24. If he says he doesn't like chicken, say "EAT MORE COWS!"

25. Back away slowly and throw the girl in his arms. Run away screaming your head off.

Hope you liked it!

And a treat:

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